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Decision Making

Many of us experience difficulties with decision-making on occasion. This times when we get stuck are often when different parts of us are telling us different things. When this happens we call it an impasse. It is like a tug-of-war with one part saying what “should” happen or what would be “right” whilst the other is saying what they want to happen stemming from what they feel.

A dilemma can stall us whilst taking up a lot of energy.

For example, I recently in a car accident. Whilst stationary at a traffic island waiting for a car to cross in front of me someone ran into the back of my care, causing me to have a slight whiplash injury. On getting out of my car the other driver was extremely apologetic and concerned about how I was. We exchanged details and got on our way as the car damage was relatively slight. On returning home I contacted my insurers.
The next day the father of the young man contacted me to ask if we could sort this out without insurance. I said that I would wait until after the weekend to see how my injury was. During the weekend I recognised how easy it would be to get into the impasse as one part was saying “You should do it without involving the insurers because the young insurance premium” whilst the other part was saying “But what about me? I’m hurt” with the response coming “Yes, but not badly” and so on.

Thankfully I was able to get myself out of this by recognising the inner dialogue. I then moved into Mindfulness and decided to go ahead with the insurance as an injury could take time to heal and would affect my working as well as my personal life.
So, when you are in a dilemma it helps to pay attention to your inner dialogue and recognise that these are often voices from the past rather than here and now. So instead of trying to ignore the dialogue turn the volume up on it so that you can really hear what is going on. That way you can decide whether the value base being operated from is helpful or not.


Have you been in an impasse recently? What are the different parts saying? What do you, in the here and now, say? Is the suggested action safe? What are the consequences of that action and on whom? Do you want to take that action? What do you learn from this? How will you move forward? What support with you get and from whom?


Trust your intuition. You don’t need to explain or justify your feelings to anyone, just trust your own inner guidance, it knows best. Listening to ourselves is key to decision-making. Confusion comes from the back-ground noise of our inner dialogue.


Turn up the volume so that you can hear what is going on inside you. Sit back and think about your feelings and feel about your thoughts. What is right for you today and what is fair to all concerned?